Jump in the water, fuck getting a soda at work...

"If we look at 1995, for example, the most recent year for which I was able to find an accounting of deaths due to vending machine tipovers. Two people died as a result of being crushed by falling soda machines in the US as compared to zero shark-related deaths in the same 12 month period.Moreover, according to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission there were 37 known vending machine fatalities between 1978 and 1995, for an average of 2.18 deaths per year. Over the past decade there were a total of six recorded shark attack fatalities in the U.S., for an average of .6 deaths per year.
Ergo, barring a drastic reduction in the frequency of vending machine accidents since 1995, vending machines are indeed more deadly than sharks by a factor of almost four!"


I think I may make a t-shirt to raise awareness....