Commercials these days

So apparently the thought of a man resurrecting from the dead gives chocolate bunnies the urge to fuck jars of peanut butter. Wow. At least now I know what to give up for Lent. Instead of the standard nothing like I do every other year, this year I'm giving up peanut butter so I don't get butt-ganked by a pack of horny easter bunnies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLKmr-tS9yU

By the way, if you don't know what song is playing (like the people in the comments section) I think you should be drug out of your bed while you are sleeping -by a horse. This horse will drag your bleeding but alive body down 5 flights of stairs (this is a special horse that can walk down stairs) to town sqaure where you will have feces smeared all over your body, be soaked in turpentine and lit on fire. While you are on fire we will dangle your writhing body 6 inches above a tank of water, just enough so you can put out the flames on your feet. Fucking morons. All you would have to do is google the phrase "let's get it on"!!! 

Is there anyone in the world uglier than....

That's a nice mustache... If you are a 15 year old mexican.

What the fuck!? Was Marshawn Lynch hit by a train when he was younger? Maybe he was pistol-whipped one too many times, or maybe the Buffalo Bills just have a curse at running back.... Bet you've never thought of that... It goes WAY back - - - O.J. Simpson anyone? Willis McGahee? You don't go to 4 consecutive Super Bowls and not win one of them without some kind of an evil goat type curse. At least I see Marshawn invested his signing bonus in the gold market... That will be helpful during September 2009 when Mr. Lynch is sending his game checks to the league office for disciplinary reasons.

Honorable mention...

Jay (shoulda been a) Butler

Every Bronco fan in Broncoland seems to be up in arms over JMD, apparently he needs his head examined. Less than 2 months in to the new campaign Denver-ites want to spill former Patriot blood like it's France circa 1793 (name the beheaded...). How could he want a backup quarterback over the immortal pro bowler Jay Cutler?
The Butler says he is hurt by the transgressions. He can't possibly understand how a new head coach could want a player on the trading block, a player that helped give him his head coaching job. Unfathomable. What the FUCK is he thinking? Everyone in Denver has become convinced that Jay Cutler is the second coming of Tommy Botox, I mean Jake Dummer, er John Schmellway. Jay does have a great arm but he uses it to throw passes to the wrong team- the only person who threw more interceptions than The Butler last year was old man time.
Jutler's qb rating was 86.0, Cassel's was 89.4. Matt threw 10 more touchdown passes than picks, Cutler - 7 more touchdowns than picks. Jay threw 4 more interceptions last year than he did his first year starting - he's not getting better he's getting worse! Matt Cassel went 11-5, Jay has never been better than .500 - why is Josh McDaniels crazy again? I think he would be crazy for wanting a Brett Farve Jr. without as much skill.
Cutler is almost like McDaniels' Drew Bledsoe. Golden arm, tough guy (unlike Drew though Jay is only physically tough, not mentally), he's a fan favorite/the franchise but maybe not the best fit for the type of offense the patriots (and now the Broncos) run... We will see. If you would have asked me which qb I wanted more in October 2008, I easily say Jay Cutler over Matt Cassel. Jay got worse as the year went on, Matt got better and my opinion has swayed, I would also rather have Matt over Jay but it doesn't matter because it didn't happen. Time will tell I guess but JMD is definitely not crazy. If anything this says that nobody on the team is untouchable and they better step up and play or they will be gone. It's time to earn your paychecks in Denver again fellas...