Just when you thought you knew someone

he goes and Favres us all. Well Favre you motherfavrer! Ugghh. I was certain a certain someone was coming back since he last declared retirement, 100% no doubt about it. Why would he then ask for his release from the New York Jets, meet with Minnesota coaches, undergo shoulder surgery, look for homes in Minnesota and then opt out- -why? What the fuck is wrong with this man? Did he just NOW realize that he sucks? Literally for 3 months this fucking asshole has been taking up space on ESPN daily and his newest retirement speech states that it is over but if someone called Nov 1. that "who knows" - Nice fucking retirement speech Brett. So if the NFL season was 8-10 weeks long instead of 16-19 you'd be all over that shit? Get the Favre out of here. You know who is doing it and has been doing it the last 5 years and not waffling on leaving? 39 year old Jeff Garcia. Don't get me wrong, Jeff Garcia sucks too but he's happy to do it. All I'm asking is that you just stay in Miss-ippi this time... you god damn Favrehole.

More to come

Another not too mentioned sublot of the Clutz trade. - - Chicago's offensive coordinator is Ron Turner. Ron Turner used to be the head coach at the University of Illinois. The Clutz wanted to play for Illinois coming out of high school as he was a lifelong Bears fan but Ron Turner laughed in his face telling him there was no room at Illinois for a wannabe like Jay Cutler. The Clutz moved on to Vanderbuilt where he proceeded to never break the .500 barrier as a starting quarterback but somehow got drafted 11th overall by Denver. Denver now trades him to Chicago where the offensive coordinator has already personally rejected him. Ha! Jay wasn't good enough for Illinois but Chicago mortgaged their future to get him under center... Smells like desperation to me... Rot in mediocrity Jay, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Swoopo

For those of you who are not aware (Brian) there is a website www.swoopo.com that is fucking crazy. I've seen Nintendo Wii's sell for LESS than $5. I missed out on an ounce of gold today for less than $50 becasue I had to let my cat inside the house (that fuckin bastard, from now on I'm rubbing his belly when he comes around until he gets used to that fact! - he really hates that) There are Mac books that sell for $30 or less, 72" televisions that go for $500, all kinds of bullshit. It's not a free for all but you won't find a better casino anywhere (sans poker) 

Josh McDaniels = Genius

So I was watching the news last night, it happened to be the local Fox News syndicate (to get the most informative and unbiased opinions as possible, -what else) and of course their lead sports story was the Jutler Saga. They opened the piece playing music you would hear in a funeral home and explained how their former Hall of Fame head coach (who everyone has hated here the last 5 years anyways) got canned  in favor of the 32 year old JMD. They then played an old Pat Bowlen interview where he was talking about Jutler having the chance to be every bit as good as the immortal (John Elway for those unfamiliar). After this they cut a 2 second sound bite from a much longer interview where McDaniels said "age doesn't matter" and then proceeded to make JMD look like a fucking moron. They informed me that Jay Cutler was "sent packing" while showing highlights of him throwing touchdown passes to numerous receivers (instead of highlights of him throwing picks). They wanted me to feel bad for the poor Jay Cutler.... There was only one problem, I actually knew the story!!! Those fucking idiots along with every other fucking idiot out here ought to be heaping praise or throwing gold at JMD. Was Fox not aware of the fact Jay Cutler has asked to be traded TWICE this offseason- once when Shanny got canny-ed and once when JMD indirectly told him he sucks? Did they miss the part where he refused to answer the phone calls of the man that signs his checks or the man in charge of teaching him the new offense? I was hoping the Shitler would get stuck in Detroit, that would have taught him but Chicago works just as well for me.

For starters, as much as he is a whiny piece of shit bitch, he would vastly improve the qb position for any team not named New England in the AFC East. I'm happy he's not throwing to T.O. or taking orders from Parcells. I'm exceptionally happpy that he is not a Jet which ensures a sub .500 record for the 747's next season. He automatically throws Chicago to the top of the terrible NFC North.... But what about the Vikings you say? But what about nothing. The ever sly Brad Wearsadress thought a 4th rounder and spice was better than a 1st to build a castle. Throw in the fact his defensive line will be suspended 4 games this September and the fact the Vikings always squander a division lead rather than make up ground and it's easy to see a 7-9 finish for the purple. Obviously Detroit is nowhere close and Green Bay decided they wanted to play a 3-4. This leaves a two team race for the North and I think it's due time Brad gets canned and for that to happen the Vikes will need to miss the playoffs. You can guarantee that will happen! (The last time I thought this exact same thought the coach was Tom Coughlin and it was August 2007, maybe you should lay your money on Minny after all).

Back to the topic at hand... Josh McDaniels has to remind you of another hoodie wearing coach with moves like these. He takes a player he didn't want to begin with, but instead of GIVING UP their 1st rounder for Matt Cassel they get rid of the interception machine and GAIN TWO #1's, a #3, and get a qb who is probably better suited to the offense than Clutz anyways. (I'm still trying to settle on what Jay's nickname should be, sorry) Now this year the Broncos have 5 of the top 85 selections and two of the top 32 next year...Sound familiar? JMD gets 3 good picks and a starting qb that has a better W-L record than the man they traded? How is this not anything other than FUCKING AWESOME FOR THE BRONCOS??? They have holes all over their defense and instead of losing a first round pick they have THREE? 

The picks. Denver has to make good on the picks acquired for this deal to turn out as a win. B.J. Raji failing a drug test has to remind you of another 300 pounder from Miami that had the same fate occur. It dropped him out of the top 5 and even top 10 picks. I'll give you a minute............... Warren Sapp anyone? Obviously smoking pot didn't have too much effect on his Hall of Fame career. Whereas Raji wouldn't have been around at #12 if the draft happened 2 weeks ago, he now will be. Anyone that says Denver will package #12 and #18 to move up for one of the 3 sheep quarterbacks is laughable. The best qb from this class is named Pat White and he will be around in Round 2, if Denver wants to upgrade over Orton (which I don't think they will) White is the pick. Denver is going to load up on defense, their draft should yield 1 or 2 defensive linemen, 1 or 2 lb's, a cb, s, and offensive lineman. Josh should know the blueprint, he has his skill players so getting the defense shored up will be a priority for the Donkeys. I have questioned JMD's free agent signings (a couple of running backs, one named JJ Arrington?- that should put the writing on the wall for the stable of 7 that ran wild last year) but every new coach is gonna have a high turnover so now time will tell. Denver does not need any more qb's, what they have on offense should be able to compete for the division, defense is the need and defense is what Denver shall get. 

buzzed driving is NOT drunk driving

If I ever win a mega lottery (takehome of 80 million or more, so a $160,000,000+ jackpot) I'm gonna blow $10M on pro drunk driving and pro marijuana campains. I mean the slogan "Buzzed Driving Is Drunk Driving" is bullshit. That's why it's called "buzzed" driving and not "drunk" driving, the words mean two different things. What if I'm buzzed on crack or paint chips? What if I'm a bee? Then I'm always buzzed... Anyways I just wanted to tell mothers against drunk driving to go fuck themselves.

Sorry for the delays

I was afraid I would neglect my blog at some point and March was that point. It was my birthday, I'm lazy, my friends were in town, I'm also lazy, then I had to do my taxes and get drunk, plus I'm lazy. There's lots to talk about and as the draft nears I'm sure the football content will ramp up, first and foremost the Butler. There will also be considerable bashing on teams that have their head so far up somebody's ass they don't even know who it is anymore.

When you rent from Jonathon Vilma, you better pay on time!

Cops are investigating whether two Bronx immigrants were executed in former Jet linebacker Jonathan Vilma's million-dollar Long Island condo before their bodies were dumped in Brooklyn and Queens, sources said yesterday. Neighbors called cops Thursday night after hearing two shots fired in the unit -- part of the posh, gated Eagle Chase complex in Woodbury --after five men drove up in a car and a Ford F- 150 truck. The men, including one who iden tified himself as Vilma's cousin, had everything they needed to enter the 99-unit luxury compound -- the password, the electronic gate opener and the keys to Vilma's home, said a condo-board member who asked to remain anonymous. Police are looking for the man who claimed to be Vilma's cousin. Vilma, who now plays for the New Orleans Saints and is trying to sell the condo, is not believed to be a target of the investigation, but cops want to talk to him about who might have been using the home, according to law-enforcement sources.